Notes Taken during Experiments with Psychotropic Drugs


10:45 AM: Took .330 grams Mescaline Sulfate.

11:20: First very slight signs of visual disturbance. Slight dizziness.
Nervousness

11:35: Very slight nausea, as if on board ship. Slight numbness.

12:00 PM: Extremities slightly numb. Mouth dry. Hot feeling.
Tongue hard to move freely.

12:20: First brightening of colors? More nausea, but very bearable yet.

12:45: Ate dinner. Ham, potatoes, peas.

1:00: First sense of slight euphoria. Great length of time gone by.

1:05: Stroboscopic-like light fluttering. Slight nausea still apparent.

1:10: “Effects” finally starting. Room moves; center of vision
narrowed. Shirt looks green from time to time. Nausea begins to
subside.

1:15: Hard to move arms, fingers; hard to write or swallow.
Withdrawn feeling. Things far away. Definite effects; begin to not
care about nausea, which is still slight. Want to jump out of skin.
Strong reflexes.

1:25: Nearly convulse at intensity of pleasurable sensations; erotic
feelings.

1:27: Paraesthesias. Euphoria beginning. Hate to talk. Drunken
sound? Flashing lights. Withdrawn feeling. Have seen green color in
lower half of vision or with eyes closed. Saw violet lines on ceiling.
Roof looked alive and pulsating like rubber sheet that distorts and
stretches. This since 1:05.

1:45: Room beginning to move about slightly.

2:15: Very little change, if any. Perspective slightly askew. Things
still shift about slightly. Greenish color in lower vision. Occasionally
dark-luminescent spots before eyes. First slight visual effects, walked
to door, legs ached. Effort to move. Forget things. Didn’t know baby
was asleep. Saw black spots on arms.

2:20: First slight hallucination-effects. Colors occasionally more
vivid. But every symptom to date is sporadic. Body numb, delicious
narcosis. No sense of temperature anymore. Effort to write brings
self back to reality completely. Then lapse into withdrawn state again.
Occasional green sheets of color descend over scene. (Paper has
looked greenish for hour or so). Effect more definite now.

2:25: Color changes in flashes, then normal. Wood colors richer.

2:30: More intense somatic feelings. More withdrawn. Few visual
symptoms. Olfactory sensations of odd smells. See little specks crawl
over hand.

2:40: Patterns of ceiling flow like water (in one continuous direction).
Motion more pronounced in everything.

2:50: Spoke on phone. Bright objects in kitchen look jewel-like. Saw
blue button on white sink—seemed vivid and luminous. Ravenous
appetite. Cold grapes from refrigerator taste divine. Body almost not
here anymore. Saw purplish luminescence on chrome objects. Pencil
looks very vivid. Motor uncoordination when attempting to write.
Almost feel like some other existence is writing. See pencil move and
feel it, as if other force writing. I sink up and down toward pencil.

3:05: Colors are brighter. My left thumb looked phosphorescent just
now as I held this book (writing pad).

3:10: Psychic elation for an hour or so. But now feel for moments as
if were coming out of it too soon. Mind clear. Bodily paraesthesia.
Have felt as if I kept clenching muscles in body—for what purpose?
Have to consciously let go tension. Pattern on ceiling flows still, if I
let go long enough. My goddamn brain is too powerful to let me go
rightly. Too analytical even now. As I analyze things, their visionary
quality goes away.

3:15: Can easily concentrate on things. Have had no sense of mystic
revelation or meaning behind things, as yet.

3:45: Height of experience. Can dream brilliantly—see visions with
eyes closed.

4:10: Hear sounds as light patterns in visions.

4:40: Have been dreaming weird dreams. Sexual reality. Feel can
really touch things I dream.

4:55: First feeling that effects are subsiding. Feel can grasp reality any
time I want, but no wish to. Bodily lassitude too delicious.

5:15: High period of ecstasy. Feeling of immense satisfaction, joy,
mystical revelation.

Till 6:15: Sheer bliss with music (Wagner). Callers broke spell. Perfect
lucidity with other persons, but all seemed fresh, new, invigorating.

7:00: Wearing off. Jangled nerves to certain extent. Tendency to
lapse into withdrawn feeling when I allow it. Took cup of tea and 25
mg Thorazine orally.

8:00: All psychic effects gone. Merely feel “drunk” now. No
unpleasant effects as yet. Perfectly rational. City lights (in darkness)
look like jewels. Very intense and colorful.

9:30: Bodily narcosis still. Mind normal.  

10:30: went to bed. Tired, numb pleasant

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