Mescaline (Peyote) Experience
The Mescaline (Peyote Experience)
11:05: Took 380 mg. Mescaline sulfate in half glass water.
11:20: First signs of effect. Nausea beginning.
11:45: Very marked nausea. Had to lie down to suppress feeling.
Great depression and feeling of regret at having taken drug.
12:00: First sign of brightening emotions. Regret passed.
12:10: Can dream vividly with eyes shut. No hallucinations, as yet.
Colors in room clear, serene and pure. Harmonious feeling. Nausea
subsiding. Erotic dreams.
12:45: Begin to experience slight withdrawal. Colors bright, fresh,
vivid. Hunger sensations. Nausea almost completely gone.
12:50: Ate lunch. Hyperreflexia, muscular tension, drunken feeling,
almost catatonic state of withdrawal when I retire.
1:00: Very drunk feeling, but sense of reality very little altered. No
visual hallucinations, except for reflected extension of colors across
lower field of vision. Feeling of warmth and flush, perspiration.
1:15: Gorgeous colors in vision; sparks of light in periphery of sight.
Euphoria beginning. Positive phase of experience definitely setting in.
1:20: Sheer bliss and ecstasy; very intense euphoria. Brilliant color
in view with eyes closed.
1:30: All splendid fire and heat; divine force pulsating in vision
beyond all description. Gold, red, orange flames blending into
harmonious patterns of incandescent beauty.
1:50: Absolutely indescribable visions; all in most utter, violent
motion, throbbing, pulsing with electric energy. Things changing
from one scene to another without cease. All in bright, iridescent
colors. Fluttering lights, firework displays; body tense, “galvanized”
with electricity. Hallucinations splendid. Feel can will anything into
reality. Hand while writing looks detached; imagine I can merely
write a word down and the idea will be real.
2:15: Vivid dreams; imagined could turn head inside out, see
backward, etc. Very tense. Feel creative energy, revitalization. Colors outside very vivid and beautiful.
3:15: Period of indescribable recall: actually relived childhood in every detail. In successive scenes, seemed to be growing younger, until age of approximately seven or eight. Could smell the little nook north of house with its bushes and greenery, the bark up in box-elder tree, taste the apples on roof of Mr. Moore’s shed, smell clothing stored in upper hall closet, see shady lane down avenue, trees in yards where I played as a child (complete with every knot-hole and configuration of the bark); remembered imagined games played with old cat; remembered suddenly dusty ledge outside bathroom window, and feeling of climbing up to it while creeping around house to my own window,
dusty screens outside of room, etc., all absolute and real—never
any memory remotely like this before! Felt bliss of never-ending
summer afternoons, warm, damp greenery under trees, looking up
at clouds and bowers of leaves; lying on warm cement under eaves
on summer afternoon and scent of rain; no anxiety, ever-present
childhood eternity of sheer poetry in timeless, lazy afternoons of
July . . . Oh! The dear earth and scent of earth that bore me! Was
back in crib in mother’s bedroom, watching blue-emerald light of
summer afternoon outside in ancient landscape . . . bathed with bliss of mother’s smile . . . time hath no meaning for us—eternity is ever and now, and happiness is easy, not shrived for. Oh—the innocence
of a little boy, without cares, worries! To know again after so long
what it feels like! Thank God for a bounteous blessing like mescaline
to recall to mind what is more important than gold and hurry!
Something I thought forever lost to me. The odor of rain on dust, of sap in heavy, lazy, dreamy boughs, the scent of earth through blades of grass, seen by child with face pressed to the ground—caressed
by endless, rolling-green, English-father’s-house lawns! Sun warmth
and fertility, oneness and peaceful, desireless harmony. God! I can
recapture anything, just for the asking! What a miracle! Oh, joy and
bliss sublime! Everything crowds upon me like an immense embrace, loving, selfless, innocent!
3:50: Muscular tiredness, tenseness; deep feeling of mescaline
intoxication. No objective hallucinations this trip—walls very
steady, etc. No feeling of loss of reality. Split personality sensation
marked—very clear mind, but able to dream and experience visions
at will. Little heightening of colors, as with LSD, much less visual
hallucination, although inner vision even more fantastically alive.
Mystical sense not as noticeable; more an objective phantasmagoria.
Continuation of warm, inner elation and electrified senses more
noticeable than in LSD syndrome. Would conclude that mescaline
is more of a nervous stimulation, and LSD, more of an actual
psychic change. Withdrawal of mescaline more catatonic than LSD;
tension much greater. The chemical relationship of mescaline and the amphetamines obvious.
4:15: Brightness of hallucinations (inner vision) subsiding. High
point of visual acuity passing, but not gone. Colors in vision are
much paler, lacking in reds, greens, etc. Now mostly blues, greys,
transparencies.
4:40: Still able to dream fantastically, but in subdued colors.
5:00: Took 50 mg. Thorazine.
5:00 to 5:30: Listening to music; one understands Mozart for
the first time—as each phrase unfolds, waves of contentment—so
pure, so serene—pour their lambent light upon the languishing
soul, drunken with sheer bliss! Every silvery sigh, every shudder of
peace and fulfillment rises clear and transparent before the senses,
like bubbling water in mother-of-pearl chambers! The pure, oily,
gut-richness of string tones sound with poetic sensuousness that they
never before possessed. Every pulse of an instrument is a perfect sigh,
every nuance an expression of perfect emotion. How intricate and
lovely the interweaving of naked sound—the pure presence of eternal
harmony and experienced sensation! The incomparable splendor of
Mozart revealed as never before!
5:50: Effects beginning to subside. Cup of tea produced cozy, warm
feeling. Muscular tension, slight cramps all over body; drugged
feeling. No unpleasant sensations as yet.
6:00: Feel elated; rich joy of surroundings, family, of many possessions. Harmonious emotion of outpouring good will and happiness. Feel have been through an uplifting experience
11:05: Took 380 mg. Mescaline sulfate in half glass water.
11:20: First signs of effect. Nausea beginning.
11:45: Very marked nausea. Had to lie down to suppress feeling.
Great depression and feeling of regret at having taken drug.
12:00: First sign of brightening emotions. Regret passed.
12:10: Can dream vividly with eyes shut. No hallucinations, as yet.
Colors in room clear, serene and pure. Harmonious feeling. Nausea
subsiding. Erotic dreams.
12:45: Begin to experience slight withdrawal. Colors bright, fresh,
vivid. Hunger sensations. Nausea almost completely gone.
12:50: Ate lunch. Hyperreflexia, muscular tension, drunken feeling,
almost catatonic state of withdrawal when I retire.
1:00: Very drunk feeling, but sense of reality very little altered. No
visual hallucinations, except for reflected extension of colors across
lower field of vision. Feeling of warmth and flush, perspiration.
1:15: Gorgeous colors in vision; sparks of light in periphery of sight.
Euphoria beginning. Positive phase of experience definitely setting in.
1:20: Sheer bliss and ecstasy; very intense euphoria. Brilliant color
in view with eyes closed.
1:30: All splendid fire and heat; divine force pulsating in vision
beyond all description. Gold, red, orange flames blending into
harmonious patterns of incandescent beauty.
1:50: Absolutely indescribable visions; all in most utter, violent
motion, throbbing, pulsing with electric energy. Things changing
from one scene to another without cease. All in bright, iridescent
colors. Fluttering lights, firework displays; body tense, “galvanized”
with electricity. Hallucinations splendid. Feel can will anything into
reality. Hand while writing looks detached; imagine I can merely
write a word down and the idea will be real.
2:15: Vivid dreams; imagined could turn head inside out, see
backward, etc. Very tense. Feel creative energy, revitalization. Colors outside very vivid and beautiful.
3:15: Period of indescribable recall: actually relived childhood in every detail. In successive scenes, seemed to be growing younger, until age of approximately seven or eight. Could smell the little nook north of house with its bushes and greenery, the bark up in box-elder tree, taste the apples on roof of Mr. Moore’s shed, smell clothing stored in upper hall closet, see shady lane down avenue, trees in yards where I played as a child (complete with every knot-hole and configuration of the bark); remembered imagined games played with old cat; remembered suddenly dusty ledge outside bathroom window, and feeling of climbing up to it while creeping around house to my own window,
dusty screens outside of room, etc., all absolute and real—never
any memory remotely like this before! Felt bliss of never-ending
summer afternoons, warm, damp greenery under trees, looking up
at clouds and bowers of leaves; lying on warm cement under eaves
on summer afternoon and scent of rain; no anxiety, ever-present
childhood eternity of sheer poetry in timeless, lazy afternoons of
July . . . Oh! The dear earth and scent of earth that bore me! Was
back in crib in mother’s bedroom, watching blue-emerald light of
summer afternoon outside in ancient landscape . . . bathed with bliss of mother’s smile . . . time hath no meaning for us—eternity is ever and now, and happiness is easy, not shrived for. Oh—the innocence
of a little boy, without cares, worries! To know again after so long
what it feels like! Thank God for a bounteous blessing like mescaline
to recall to mind what is more important than gold and hurry!
Something I thought forever lost to me. The odor of rain on dust, of sap in heavy, lazy, dreamy boughs, the scent of earth through blades of grass, seen by child with face pressed to the ground—caressed
by endless, rolling-green, English-father’s-house lawns! Sun warmth
and fertility, oneness and peaceful, desireless harmony. God! I can
recapture anything, just for the asking! What a miracle! Oh, joy and
bliss sublime! Everything crowds upon me like an immense embrace, loving, selfless, innocent!
3:50: Muscular tiredness, tenseness; deep feeling of mescaline
intoxication. No objective hallucinations this trip—walls very
steady, etc. No feeling of loss of reality. Split personality sensation
marked—very clear mind, but able to dream and experience visions
at will. Little heightening of colors, as with LSD, much less visual
hallucination, although inner vision even more fantastically alive.
Mystical sense not as noticeable; more an objective phantasmagoria.
Continuation of warm, inner elation and electrified senses more
noticeable than in LSD syndrome. Would conclude that mescaline
is more of a nervous stimulation, and LSD, more of an actual
psychic change. Withdrawal of mescaline more catatonic than LSD;
tension much greater. The chemical relationship of mescaline and the amphetamines obvious.
4:15: Brightness of hallucinations (inner vision) subsiding. High
point of visual acuity passing, but not gone. Colors in vision are
much paler, lacking in reds, greens, etc. Now mostly blues, greys,
transparencies.
4:40: Still able to dream fantastically, but in subdued colors.
5:00: Took 50 mg. Thorazine.
5:00 to 5:30: Listening to music; one understands Mozart for
the first time—as each phrase unfolds, waves of contentment—so
pure, so serene—pour their lambent light upon the languishing
soul, drunken with sheer bliss! Every silvery sigh, every shudder of
peace and fulfillment rises clear and transparent before the senses,
like bubbling water in mother-of-pearl chambers! The pure, oily,
gut-richness of string tones sound with poetic sensuousness that they
never before possessed. Every pulse of an instrument is a perfect sigh,
every nuance an expression of perfect emotion. How intricate and
lovely the interweaving of naked sound—the pure presence of eternal
harmony and experienced sensation! The incomparable splendor of
Mozart revealed as never before!
5:50: Effects beginning to subside. Cup of tea produced cozy, warm
feeling. Muscular tension, slight cramps all over body; drugged
feeling. No unpleasant sensations as yet.
6:00: Feel elated; rich joy of surroundings, family, of many possessions. Harmonious emotion of outpouring good will and happiness. Feel have been through an uplifting experience
Comments