LSD Experience
12:05: Took 50 mcg. Lysergic acid diethyl amide base.
12:25: Transient feelings of cramps in calves; tenseness.
12:35: Muscular weakness
12:40: Withdrawn feeling; nerves alert, muscles tense. Flushed,
pleasant sensations in body.
12:50: Warm, euphoric feeling. Jaw and throat muscles tense.
12:55: Dinner
1:05: Intense euphoria; numb, drugged feeling.
1:10: First brightening of lights in periphery of vision. Intense colors.
Erotic sensations.
1:20: Listening to French popular singer on tape. She seems to be in
room, breathing over my shoulder
.
1:45: Intensification of significance. Can look at picture and lend it
great depth of reality. Otherwise, life seems suspended in space and
time, very neutral, calm. (Almost zero grade of “Affect”).
2:00: In-womb feeling of warmth, calm, pleasantness. Vision
narrowed, delicious narcosis. Occasional flickering of light in
periphery of vision. Will numbed.
2:07: Somatic symptoms have increased during last half hour.
Colors occasionally appear brighter in flashes, but overall appearance
normal. Tendency to withdraw. Attention periodically arrested by
conspicuous or bright object.
2:30: Feelings of elation; great plans to do things (in future);
expansive mood. Things seem novel and new; they create desire to
smile or laugh. But overall sense of narcosis and benumbed will.
When I sit down, I immediately have desire to withdraw into warm,
dreamy state.
2:45 to 3:00: Conscious repression of psychological material seems
to be relaxed; wish to express inner feelings (communicate), but
presence of others seems to be set up resistance. Flashes of light;
wallpaper flowers (roses) look lovelier. Psychological insights
gained: seems that anxieties center on inability to realize imagined
or promised fulfillment of experiences in life. (Things cannot be
what they would seem.) LSD gives palpable reality and power of
imagination to thoughts, thus bringing longed-for realization and
fulfillment.
In normal life, must break down feeling that things are necessarily let
down, and try to realize their inner significance (cause them to yield
themselves on face value, without resisting them by anxiety that they
will be disappointing)
3:15: Ability to daydream very heightened. Colors all have aura
about them, but otherwise not exceptional. Mescaline visions not
quite realized. Feel more relaxed than with mescaline, but still rather
tense.
4:00: Physical symptoms still pronounced. Feel that psychic peak has
been passed (this turned out to not be the case)
4:00 to 5:00: Period of extreme bliss and peacefulness while listening
to music (Vaughn-Williams). Recapture of feelings from childhood
while gazing out of window. Colors in landscape seemed rich and
harmonious. Everything tranquil. Sense of infinity and eternity, of
finality and ultimate peace. (The latter seemed to be connected with
a sense of life’s awesomeness, a sort of “tragic” awareness, yet not
frightening, but touched with the beauty of death-wishes.)
5:00: Physical symptoms still maintained. Took 200 mg.
nicotinamide orally, to test effect. If any. Still tendency to withdraw,
when allowed.
5:30: Went for walk in dusk. Winter scene had novel freshness about
it. Seemed to be pervaded by a long-forgotten childhood sensation.
Lights seemed garishly bright.
5:45: LSD effects only slightly, if any, suppressed by vitamin.
5:55: More definite clearing of mind. Difficulty in lapsing into
withdrawn state, although still pronounced. Sense of calm and
relative disinterest. Vegetative symptoms seem to be disappearing.
Cool feelings, in contrast to previous warmth.
6:45: Effects completely past. Feeling of happiness and ease. (Nerves
slightly jittery until bedtime, but not unpleasantly so. Took 100 mg.
Pentobarbital to sleep.)
12:25: Transient feelings of cramps in calves; tenseness.
12:35: Muscular weakness
12:40: Withdrawn feeling; nerves alert, muscles tense. Flushed,
pleasant sensations in body.
12:50: Warm, euphoric feeling. Jaw and throat muscles tense.
12:55: Dinner
1:05: Intense euphoria; numb, drugged feeling.
1:10: First brightening of lights in periphery of vision. Intense colors.
Erotic sensations.
1:20: Listening to French popular singer on tape. She seems to be in
room, breathing over my shoulder
.
1:45: Intensification of significance. Can look at picture and lend it
great depth of reality. Otherwise, life seems suspended in space and
time, very neutral, calm. (Almost zero grade of “Affect”).
2:00: In-womb feeling of warmth, calm, pleasantness. Vision
narrowed, delicious narcosis. Occasional flickering of light in
periphery of vision. Will numbed.
2:07: Somatic symptoms have increased during last half hour.
Colors occasionally appear brighter in flashes, but overall appearance
normal. Tendency to withdraw. Attention periodically arrested by
conspicuous or bright object.
2:30: Feelings of elation; great plans to do things (in future);
expansive mood. Things seem novel and new; they create desire to
smile or laugh. But overall sense of narcosis and benumbed will.
When I sit down, I immediately have desire to withdraw into warm,
dreamy state.
2:45 to 3:00: Conscious repression of psychological material seems
to be relaxed; wish to express inner feelings (communicate), but
presence of others seems to be set up resistance. Flashes of light;
wallpaper flowers (roses) look lovelier. Psychological insights
gained: seems that anxieties center on inability to realize imagined
or promised fulfillment of experiences in life. (Things cannot be
what they would seem.) LSD gives palpable reality and power of
imagination to thoughts, thus bringing longed-for realization and
fulfillment.
In normal life, must break down feeling that things are necessarily let
down, and try to realize their inner significance (cause them to yield
themselves on face value, without resisting them by anxiety that they
will be disappointing)
3:15: Ability to daydream very heightened. Colors all have aura
about them, but otherwise not exceptional. Mescaline visions not
quite realized. Feel more relaxed than with mescaline, but still rather
tense.
4:00: Physical symptoms still pronounced. Feel that psychic peak has
been passed (this turned out to not be the case)
4:00 to 5:00: Period of extreme bliss and peacefulness while listening
to music (Vaughn-Williams). Recapture of feelings from childhood
while gazing out of window. Colors in landscape seemed rich and
harmonious. Everything tranquil. Sense of infinity and eternity, of
finality and ultimate peace. (The latter seemed to be connected with
a sense of life’s awesomeness, a sort of “tragic” awareness, yet not
frightening, but touched with the beauty of death-wishes.)
5:00: Physical symptoms still maintained. Took 200 mg.
nicotinamide orally, to test effect. If any. Still tendency to withdraw,
when allowed.
5:30: Went for walk in dusk. Winter scene had novel freshness about
it. Seemed to be pervaded by a long-forgotten childhood sensation.
Lights seemed garishly bright.
5:45: LSD effects only slightly, if any, suppressed by vitamin.
5:55: More definite clearing of mind. Difficulty in lapsing into
withdrawn state, although still pronounced. Sense of calm and
relative disinterest. Vegetative symptoms seem to be disappearing.
Cool feelings, in contrast to previous warmth.
6:45: Effects completely past. Feeling of happiness and ease. (Nerves
slightly jittery until bedtime, but not unpleasantly so. Took 100 mg.
Pentobarbital to sleep.)
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